Hey Whip,
You have way too much editorializing in this piece demonstrating a specific point of view. You have to keep wikipedia articles really simple and straightforward. Also, by Stardock's own numbers, only 1% of the Sins community plays online....so most of your text is not targetted at 99% of the people who would read the article.
Really, you should just be stating genre (RTS), Setting (Space SciFi), and game modes (Single or Multiplayer up to 10 players playable via the internet or a network) that can be referenced directly from the Ironclad official media and game specs....don't go into any editorial description of how the player communities interact, strategy, or additional social constructs like PUGS.
Also remember, this article is targeted at people who are gamers, and they should know what an RTS is and how people commonly play an RTS, but want to know more specifically about what is unique to Sins.... that you build fleets of spaceships to conquer planets around stars, 3 races w/ brief description, Entrenchment adds powerful Starbases and mines, etc. You have to step back, see Sins for the first time, then remove all your own opinions of what it is and how you like to play it.
For example, if you want to talk about how good the game is, don't say "it is @#@#$ AWESOME!", instead add a section where you state Sins has garnered very strong reviews and recognition as innovative, then list the various reviews, links, and awards.
