Banned for telling women you have the right tool for the job.... a potato peeler has nothing on a rolling pin.

Banned for telling women you have the right tool for the job.... a potato peeler has nothing on a rolling pin.

Banned for doubling up.

Banned for doubling up on rolling pins... just in case he whips out his potato peeler to.... er skin a cucumber.

As for the double posts, don't tell anyone, but I did it on porpoise... I just wanted to be sure my presence known.

banned for wanting double the attention

Banned for spontaneously standing to attention in the supermarket... it won't get you thru the checkout any faster.

Banned for saying faster and checkout in the same sentence.

banned for being jealous of those who can

Banned for all of the above and then some.

Banned for using 'potatoe peeler' and 'cucumber' together while providing neither clear, concise instructions, nor diagrams or 'how to' video clips.

Banned for wanting to see video instructions on how to circumcise a cucumber... now get back to practicing on carrots before you cut yourself

banned for using the carrot sticks approach

Banned for going out in the sticks to find bush carrots... oh, and watch out for trouser snakes while yer bending over... they're the ones that'll crawl up yer pants leg and bite yer on the gonads if yer move the wrong way

Banned for Saturday morning visual pleasantries. 

Banned for it's Saturday night... and I'm about to watch some episodes of Nikita season 2 on my hugely big 65" TV.... which is a visual pleasantry I don't mind.

banned for thinking that is big

banned for being larger than his TV

Banned your invisible friend. 

Banned for 4K's got nuthin' on 8k's due out next century but got nuthin' on the 16k's after the roll up.

Banned for seeing his invisible friend... not to mention knowing he has one that requires blowing up every so often

Banned for not mentioning.

banned for the unmentionables

Banned for I go Commando.    Really, who needs it. Unless there is a physical issue, unmentionables are unnecessary.

banned for being unnecessary

Banned for you are necessary.