You have the fastest computer in the world, and runs away from you faster than you can catch it.

I wish I could point my finger at something, yell "bang," and then it explodes (just like Chuck Norris can).

Granted. Then he goes on a fact finding tour of the United States to find out about global warming and gets torn to tiny internet inventing peices by manbearpig.

Poor Al Gore. Noone took him cereal.

I wish that a panda would eat this game.

granted, now she's a stuck up whore.

i wish i could read people's minds, but only when i want to. And nobody finds out about it.

You get it. Unfortunately, the fish is a blowfish, and the cook isn't trained in the art of properly preparing it.

So you eat it, get poisoned, and DIE.

I wish that I didn't post random crappy games (like the retarded last post game. Honestly, this forum needs tired goggles. I post random crap when I'm tired. Someone lock that stupid post...)

Granted. However, the beings' society is a utopia, so their spaceships are unarmed, leaving them defenceless against the barage of nuclear missiles that pulverize them as soon as they get near the Earth. The survivors crash-land on Earth, and ar soon forced into concentration camps and forced to help adapt thier technology to ours. The aliens are worked into extinction within ten years, and a fleet of interstellar warships is soon under construction. Congratualtions, you have set in motion the extermination of an enitre species.

I wish to LEAGALLY aquire enough money to LEGALLY purchase some PSP games. 

granted: your hands fall off and you never write again.

I wish i wouldn't have to DL movies and games but can ACTUALLY affort them (no government interference,bank robbery's or depressiveness please)

granted. you go  into politics, and get elected. As a senator, you let the roads be restored to perfect state.

Unfortunatly, they had to cut into other budgets. They got the money from the health care sector, so now many hospitals are understaffed and underequipped. Even worse, while driving to work on those perfectly smooth roads, your car loses grip and a carcrash follows. They rush you to the hospital, but they can't save you because they don't have the equipment.

ahhhh, the irony...

I wish i wasn't sick (and don't solve this by letting me die!)

granted, but this reedeeming quality is the same with everyone so it is no longer used as an excuse for mercy. Crime Rates soar.

I wish for ecological stability (no more global warming.....whatever that is..)

Granted. People post faster on other forums but post the same here. it drives you insane and you kill yourself.

I wish I didnt have to do summer reading

Granted. You come back as a vampire, and eat all your friends and family.

I wish for an AK-47 with a 100-round drum, and a 100% legit permit to use it legally.

Granted, they all begin arguing about how "great" a movie Twighlight was. Slowly the Twighlight fans kill off the rest of the world by forming mobs, which means you are either dead or... worse...

I wish that the world became as it is depicted in Gears of War 2, and was subsequently hit by the zombie plague from Left 4 Dead, resulting in an amazingly awesome conflict that I got to watch in its entirety from a godlike, non-madening vantage point before succumbing to awesomeness overload. (and if it matters at all, lets say the zombie plague doesn't affect the Locust at first, but then it mutates/adapts or something along those lines)

Granted: but all the idiots in every class you take start beating you for not doing their homework

i wish that i could manipulate accuratly any and all forms of energy including but not limited to:

thermo, electro-magnetic, life, death, kinetic, electrick ect ect

Granted. You take the ticket to the lottery office to get it cashed, but it turns out to be a fake. You are arrested for copyright infringement.

I wish movies based on video games didn't suck.