I'd wager it's not the thought of losing that scares the new guys, it's the style of play that the "pros" use. Playing against new people is always more fun because they use many different strategies and techniques. The people who have been playing for a long time use cookie cutter strategies. It's about who can click and spam more than the other guy.
Those strategies are great for winning, but not for having fun.
TKins - they are better because they know what works and doesn't and can adapt better. That isn't cookie cutter - that is just being a better player then you.... Quite often the new players DON'T have different/better strategies as they are still learning the basic game mechanics, let alone producing some exotic tactic!!!
I played a game last night with GonzoHard. He lost. But we spent a good 15 minutes talking afterwards and he said he learnt enough. I asked him if the loss was worth it for the lessons he learned. He said for sure. We will play together again - both on same team and against each other....
Just accept that better players will usually win. But you can learn more from them in the process - replays AND chat....
I clearly said "Those strategies are great for winning, but not for having fun." I am admitting they are better for sure. They aren't winning because they use adaptive strategies though. I have yet to see anyone who has played many many times use a strategy I haven't seen before. They are typically some kind of spam, weather it be a long range frigate or a carrier spam.
I never said the new players have better strategies. Only they use different ones. I would argue completely opposite to you though and say they typically use exotic strategies all the time because they haven't found out what works and what doesn't.
I'm not sure if you misunderstood cookie cutter as much as the rest of my post so I'll elaborate...
Cookie cutter means the same pre-determined strategy that can be easily replicated. IE. build cap factory, build cap ship, scuttle cap factory, buy 100 crystal, sell 100 metal, upgrade Planet.
From a military standpoint, the most common ones I see are LRM, Illum and now Carrier spams. It isn't so much about having well rounded fleets and battles being dependent on when, where and how you attack, i'ts much more about how fast you can research a certain ship and pump it out as fast as possible.
This isn't sins specific, this is with many many games out there. AOE 3 had tons of problems with spam attacks. This is exactly why IC has released so many "balance" patches. It's to eliminate these spam tactics that dominate online play. The only game I've ever played that managed to be almost 100% balanced was Rise of Nations. There were no cookie cutter strategies at all. It was all about map control, pressure and being able to adapt throughout the game without depending on a single pre-determined strategy (ie illum/scout rush).
From my personal experience, playing with newer players is more fun, losing or winning, because they don't use the cookie cutter strategies. Sure they aren't as good for winning, but the games are more dynamic and a different experience.