To JOIN other games online:
When you go to "IronClad Online" you then need to "add player" (which will be your online persona)
Then use that "player name" and you'll be in the ICO LOBBY
Try coming online during US prime-time.......that's when you'll find most of the players online (in my experience)
To HOST games online:
If you're on game version 1.05 or less (look at the bottom right corner of the screen when you're in SINS for the version info) you'll need to download and follow the step-by-step called "Networking and SINS" linked-to right under the GREEN writing in the OP of this thread for router config and port-forwarding information.
OR
You can download, install IMPULSE (www.impulsedriven.com ) and use it to update your game to the version 1.1 BETA (v1.095) which doesn't require port-forwarding to host, but there seem to be far less people online with the BETA than version 1.05
there ya are..... 
the Monk
